it's always ourselves we find in the sea

My normal makeup is fairly simple— a pin-up eye and red lipstick generally— and so I feel that could be why clients gravitate toward me. Some of the other cast members go all out and I think such bright colors make some people nervous, but I don’t really look threatening at all (despite the bull ring in my nose). A lot of clients tell me that they don’t ever wear makeup, don’t know where to start or how to even put it on and I get a lot of happiness out of helping them and teaching them little tips and tricks to make it easier, make it fun. I like seeing them smile when they see themselves in the mirror when I’m done. 

Yesterday I worked with a 10 year old girl who was developing quite a bit of acne. It was obvious that she didn’t want to be there at all and that she was horribly embarrassed. I remembered what I felt like at her age and how self-conscious I was about all aspects of my appearance (the facial hair, the gap between my front teeth, my frizzy hair, my chubby frame, the fact that I grew boobs so young) and I told her about those things. She thought I was lying because I don’t look anything like that nowadays, but I made her laugh and more importantly I made her feel good about herself. I told her that she should never let anyone pick on her because everyone was going to get those spots and that by the time they did, she’d already be a pro at hiding them and everyone else would be where she is now. I told her that she looked awesome, with or without the spots and that I knew she was a cool kid. The girl who had looked so unhappy when she was dragged into the store left with grin on her face. 

Last week I put makeup on a woman who suffered a stroke and couldn’t put her own on anymore. I told her that my own mom had a stroke last year and that with hard work and therapy, she’d improved so much. She said that it was the best she’d looked in five months and I was definitely crying by the time she left the store. 

Retail isn’t particularly glamourous and I’m only a fairly inexperienced makeup artist who does smokey-eye after smokey-eye (professionals probably wouldn’t even call me a MUA), but I love the fact that I can put sparkly pink eyeshadow on a little girl with a fairy wand and be nothing more than a picture on her mom’s cellphone or I can potentially make someone’s day.

I work in an industry that tells you that you aren’t beautiful as you are, but I like to think that my job is helping others feel comfortable with themselves. I like to think of makeup as warpaint, as art, as a tool. You don’t need all this to be beautiful, but if it makes you feel more beautiful then I will gladly match your colors for you. If it will help you see how amazing you are, I will gladly pick up my brushes. If I can make it so that every ten year old who walks in thinks she’s badass by the time she leaves, I’ll call it a job well-done.